Why moving Mum into an aged care community was absolutely the right decision – for both of us
I have watched Mum become frailer over the past few years. I arranged for regular visits from a home care provider and increased the frequency of my visits to try and make sure she was safe and eating properly.
As the eldest daughter, I felt immense guilt at the thought of moving her away from her beloved home where she had lived since she was married. Her home was so special to her, and she had always stated that she wanted to remain living there as she aged.
I began staying a night or two at her place each week. These visits were exhausting! My time was spent doing her shopping, preparing meals that she could reheat, writing her instructions on how to use the microwave, leaving her reminder notes, managing her diary and appointments, checking the house for things she might trip over, and so on. And then when I’d leave, I’d be riddled with anxiety about whether she’d be safe until the next home care or family visit.
Then last year, her health declined further and I was faced with a very difficult decision. Mum needed around-the-clock care, and it was more than our family could provide.
After a careful search of local aged care communities, we found the right place. I was agonising about how she’d adapt to her new home, but after a few days, she seemed more settled, less anxious and generally happier in herself. She soon made some friends with other residents and the wonderful staff, who got to know her so well in no time.
I visit her at least twice a week at whatever time suits my schedule and I love finding her sitting in the garden with a neighbour, joining in some of the activities, or enjoying lunch at a chatty table in one of the small dining rooms.
In contrast to when she was living at home, now it is such a joy to visit her! I take her to the nearby café, or for a drive around the local area, or I join her for a meal or just a stroll through the outdoor areas. My time with her now is genuinely quality time.
She’s more social than before, never feels lonely and I’ve even overheard her telling others that she feels very lucky to be living here.
So, from dreading making this momentous decision, I now have absolute confidence that I did the right thing. My Mum is receiving the care she needs in a welcoming and homely environment, and I can concentrate on enjoying spending time with her in these special years.
If you have questions about moving your parent into residential aged care, our friendly team can help. Call us on (02) 6736 0300 to arrange a private tour of our community.
More information
We have more resources to help you with your aged care journey here. Read why residents love living at Harden Grange here, and why our team members love working with us here.
To find out more about our welcoming community, call our friendly admissions team on (02) 6736 0300 or email info@tenterfieldcare.org.au.
